A Little Sunshine

I've decided to bring a new twist to an old theme. We've all read the various lists of "How to Piss off an Army Wife", in fact I've written one myself. But in an effort to remain perpetually bright and sparkly I've decided to give a helping hand to all those out there who want to bring a smile to our faces. Rather than telling you what NOT to do, I'm going to give you some ideas that'll bring in a little sunshine. Since we're gearing up for a deployment here, I'm focusing on that aspect, so most of these are things to do while they're gone.

*Disclaimer* I realize that I usually refer to spouses as "wives", and leave out those husbands out there who are also dependents. I can't help it, more than a decade in Combat Arms creates habits that are hard to break. Most of these ideas will probably be slanted toward a female perspective, (I can't really help that either...) but I'm sure with a little thought and creativity, they'll work for the guys, too.


-If you know that our husbands are getting ready to deploy, or leave for a long training exercise one of the best things you can do to perk us up a little is to watch our kids so we can go on a date. And don't worry...my children behave much better for other people that they do for me. I'll even drug them if necessary.

-Deployments are long. Even those of us with the sunniest of outlooks tend to get down in the dumps halfway through a 12, 15, or 18 month deployment. If you stop by during that time...bring chocolate. Chocolate works wonders on the female disposition. In fact, if you're planning to see me at anytime during a deployment, bring chocolate.

-We may be in a miserable state of mind for a while if our other half is gone, but that doesn't mean we expect you to be. If you're happy about something, please tell us about it. We want to be happy for you, too! Sunshine always dries the rain.

-Remind us that tomorrow is another day. Sometimes we get caught up in the little things that seem to grow exponentially during deployments. When you have to do everything yourself, even the dumbest thing going wrong can become a disaster of epic proportions. Once I got so upset about my mountain of laundry that I just sat down and cried. My mom came over the next day while I was at work and helped me get caught up, and suddenly the world was no longer ending.

If you haven't been in our shoes, we don't expect you to magically understand what we're going through. We don't expect you to be full of wit and wisdom. We just want you to be there, and be you. If you're my favorite coffee buddy, then keep having coffee with me, I need you now more than ever. Don't worry so much about saying the "wrong thing", or pissing me off. If we're friends, and I know you're trying, you're not going to piss me off.

One thing guaranteed to bring a smile to any Army Wife is the knowledge that someone else is supporting our husband, too. Send him a card, or a care package. Cheer him up, you cheer us up. If you don't know what to send him, just ask. We've got all kinds of ideas. Or just think about what you would want if you were far from home in a hostile war zone full of sand and grit. Send that.

And there you have it. I hope it helps. If you're an Army Wife, what makes you smile? Tell me something nice that someone's done for you.