Tuesday, October 13, 2009

10 Ways to Really Annoy an Army Wife

This was sent to me by a friend, and I thought it was too funny (not to mention very true!)...by the way, I added some of my own thoughts, as well....


1) As soon as you find out her husband is deployed take it upon yourself to tell her exactly how you feel about the war and how WE shouldn’t be over there.

WE? Are YOU over there, too?


2) Follow that up by asking how she feels about the President.

Oh...don't get me started....



3) Look surprised and say, “I don’t know how you do it, I could never LET my husband do that.”

That's funny, now that you mention it, I don't recall Uncle Sam calling me up and asking my permission...




4
) If she’s pregnant be sure and ask if the military is going to send her husband home for the birth.

I don't even know what to say to this one...




5) Tell her she should really consider getting additional life insurance since her husband has a good chance of getting killed.

Oh, don't worry, you as the tax-payer have already generously provided me with an excellent life insurance policy....



6) Remind her how lucky she is that her husband gets all that extra tax free money when he’s at war.

Hmmm...yeah. It does help to pay for all the babysitters and daycare that I have to get while I go to therapy....



7) Try to relate to her by saying you know just how she feels because your husband was out of town on business for a week last month.

Ahh...my favorite one. One question: did your husband miss Christmas and/or your kids' birthdays while he was on his horribly long business trip? No? Then Shut Up.



8 ) Ask her how she can be faithful for a whole year and if she worries about her husband cheating on her.

Faithful for a whole year? I'm trying to be faithful for my whole marriage. Am I worried about him cheating on me? Not really, I'm more worried about him, you know, getting killed.



9
) Inquire on whether or not her husband has killed anyone.

Actually, yes. He's killed quite a few people. That's what he does, he's a highly trained, government contracted killer. Still want to come over for a BBQ?



10) Be sure to ask her when her husband comes home, if he’s done with the military or if he has to go back.

He comes home a year or more from when he left. No, he's not done with the military, it's kind of his job. Does he have to go back? I don't know, are they still killing each other in the Middle East? Yeah? Then probably....Besides, I wouldn't want to miss out on all that extra, tax-free money we're so lucky to get.

7 comments:

Lindsay Barlow said...

I am stealing this to post on my page,too!!

shauna said...

I am so glad you posted this, I have been asked them all and it is good to know I am in good company with other army wives!
Shauna in Alaska

HellcatBetty said...

HAHAHA!!! This is awesome! Stealing it :)

http://thisarmywifeslife.blogspot.com said...

well i guess i will follow suit and steal it too if u dont mind...following you from http;//thisarmywifeslife.blogspot.com....hope u follow me back!

Kaui @Thrifty Military Mommy said...

I'm stealing to as well! Thanks a bunch :)

Modern Gypsies said...

I had to borrow it and post it on my blog! :)

Dana said...

Isnt that CRAZY STUPID how we ALL get asked these ?'s Makes me wanna say "heres yur sign" now shut the hell up and get out of my face. I love it, needed the laugh thanks for posting this!!