Chris and I did our wills today. What a fun process that is. To actually sit down and think about what you want to happen after you die. Who gets what, who handles what, who gets guardianship of the children should we both die. And it doesn't stop there, you have to think of alternates in case any of the people you name die before you do! The hardest part is working everything out so that your wishes are clearly expressed, but nobody's feelings get hurt.
And it gets really complicated if you both die. Insurance money, and how we want the trust set up for Aiden and any other children we have, who's going to take care of that, blah, blah, blah. Then there comes the living will. Who's going to make decisions for us should we become incapacitated? Do we want life support? Nutrition and hydration? Talk about depressing!
BUT, it's necessary. Especially given Chris' chosen line of work. Most people make a will thinking that it won't be needed until they are old. In our case, considering what Chris does and where he's going, there is a real possibility that it will be needed much sooner than that. I sincerely hope that is NOT the case, but I refuse to bury my head in the sand and assume it's not a possibility, cause it is - whether I like it or not. I feel that I owe it to Aiden (and to Chris) to be prepared. And that means having a plan. What will I do? Where will I go? All of that needs to be at least thought about so that should the worst happen, I'm not caught completely unawares. Aiden would need me to be extra strong during that time, not hiding in a corner wondering what to do. Lucky for me, I have two great examples of Army widows to look to for help, should I need it. You two know who you are, and believe me, you are an inspiration.
So, as morbid as that all sounds, just chalk it up to one more of those "Army Wife Duties" I signed up for 7+ years ago. And I hope you will all go out now and make your wills!
2 comments:
So along these lines, Dana and I (mostly me) have been thinking about the same things (but of course with no children involved!). What I have found out is that a will is basically useless, unless you have a trust set up with it. It might be different in Alabama, but in Cali a will is still probatable, which means that anyone can still go to the judge during the probate of your estate and dispute what you put in your will. It is then up to the judge to determine if your wishes are followed or not. Also, the probate process can take a very long time and is very expensive...possibly leaving you and Aiden without access to your assets until the probate is over. I would recommend talking to an estate attorney about a trust, because that is the only way to avoid probate. In that case, your successor trustee (whom you designate in your trust) steps in in your place and handles everything for you. Everything that I have heard from financial advisors and estate attorneys says that a trust is the best way to go. Of course, I'm still only thinking about how California works, it could be different where you are...but who knows where you'll be living later in life??
Not to be the "downer" friend...you are way ahead of us...I can't get Dana to sit down and really think about what would happen, But I want you to be taken care of just in case!! Glad you're thinking ahead!
AAAAAHHHHHH....isn't all that crap nerve racking and scary! I also know the one of the widows you are talking about and they are AMAZING women who have gone through something I could never imagine.
Post a Comment