I've mentioned before how much I hate clowns, but I never really knew why. I've always hated them, for as long as I can remember. At one point I heard a story from a relative about how she remembered being at a parade with me when I was 3 or 4 and I completely freaked out when the clowns came by - the first inkling that they weren't my favorite. I've often wondered if I was just born with an ingrained aversion to them, or if there were some buried childhood memory involving clowns that was so disturbing I've blocked it from my mind. This morning, I figured it out.
I was listening to the radio and people were talking about what their personal hell would be like. I know, nice happy fare for a Monday morning, right? Anyway, one lady called in and said her personal hell would be filled with clowns. I had to agree with that. When the hosts asked her why, she said she had hated them ever since seeing the movie Poltergeist, with the little clown that runs around the room and under the bed, terrorizing the little girl.
At that point, it was like this flood of recognition for me. While I don't remember the movie in full detail, I do remember seeing Poltergeist when I was very young, and I remember the clown scene in flashes. I know, right now you are asking what I was doing watching Poltergeist when I was a toddler, right? Well, let's just say that I have an "aunt" who failed to understand that watching movies like Silver Bullet and Poltergeist while babysitting small children is not recommended for healthy development. And Susan, if you're reading this, I think you may have contributed to several of my neuroses...but it's okay, I no longer believe that werewolves live under my bed.
Anyway, after listening to this caller talk about her fear of clowns, I suddenly knew that's where it came from. You know how sometimes you just know things? That's how it was this morning, I know without a shadow of a doubt it was that movie, even though I don't remember it in detail. I suppose I should watch Poltergeist again to confront my fear and get rid of it, but it's turned into not so much a fear of clowns but rather an intense hatred of them altogether. And really, what's wrong with that, I mean, they're evil, right??
5 comments:
I also have a hatred for clowns. My cousin and I both do. We discovered recently the reason we hate them is because when we were little our grandpa was a shriner and drove one of those little cars. Well at shriner parties those creepy clowns were always trying to talk to us and give us candy. To this day I am NOT a fan of clowns!
Oh my gosh Jenn - I just about spit out my coffee when I was reading this! Since I know there is NO WAY in h*ll *I* ever let you watch that movie (Heck, I'VE never watched that movie!!) we'll let Aunt Susan take the fall...
But I still wonder at the irony of you loving a vampire slayer series...
Mom
I know, maybe I'm identifying with Buffy... :-)
I totally remember you freaking out about Vampires and blaming some movie you watched as a child. I also remember you loved the smell of vacuum cleaners...ever figure out where that came from? Do you still like the smell, because you know you are always welcome to come vacuum my apartment if you really want that comforting smell.
I do still like the smell of vacuum cleaners, but I have enough vacuuming of my own to do these days...but thanks!! :-)
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